"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."

 

         What does it mean to accept one another in the church? Does it mean to tolerate each other? Does it mean to affirm any and all behaviors and doctrines? Is it possible to love the sinner and hate the sin, or is that cliché impossible to truly live out in close relationships? Is it better to stay united and live with some measure of disagreement, or to go our separate ways and feel more peaceful?

         It is very difficult to be a congregation these days that truly lives out this commandment to accept each other. There are simply too many preferences, desires, traditions, new ideas, and competing views of the church, or of worship, or of evangelism. It is hard to be a united and accepting congregation these days.

         Just by reading the passage of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well, we encounter enough issues of division to raise our anxiety. Jesus, a man, speaks to a woman in public, which was not acceptable practice. We still struggle with the roles of men and women in the church. Is it allowable for women to be ordained as pastors in the church? This is a central issue of acceptance these days.

         Jesus, a Jewish man, talks to a Samaritan, which raised questions of defilement. He not only talked to a bitter enemy, he asked to use the drinking implement of a Samaritan. Rabbi Eliezer wrote, "He that eats the bread of Samaritans is like to one that eats the flesh of swine." We still struggle with the acceptance of all races and nationalities in the church. It has been stated that 11 o'clock on Sunday morning is the most segregated hour of American life. With 20% of our Covenant churches now predominantly of minority ethnic-group make-up, will we fully accept one another?

         Jesus, who worshipped at the temple in Jerusalem, talks to one who was convinced that Mt. Gerazim was the holy place. We still have discussions about worship; where and how and just what is sacred and unchanging, and what is temporary and moveable. How will we worship so that the whole congregation feels accepted?

         Jesus, a single man, spoke very bluntly to a woman about her multiple divorces and live-in situation. Do you think he was accepting of her? How do we talk about issues like divorce or homosexuality to people in our churches today?

         Accept one another. It sounds simple, but the more you dig into it, the more difficult it becomes. What does it mean to accept one another like Jesus accepted people? There is something deep in our human nature that works against co-operation, unity, and acceptance of each other. In fact, we seem to value our differences, defend them, and even fight for them.

         Once I heard Henry Greenidge, an African-American pastor at Irvington Covenant Church in Portland, talk about the sociology of comfort. He illustrated it with his own story, but said he felt it was valid no matter what group you were talking about. Briefly, he said that he grew up in the Bronx, where he rubbed shoulders daily with Jews, Puerto Ricans, other black people, and all manner of ethnic white people: Italians, Poles, English, etc. That was home for him. That was normal.

         He went to college in Nyack, N.Y., where he was the only non-white student. He found that so uncomfortable that when he finished he jumped at an opportunity to move to Watts in Los Angeles, to an all-black community. At first he felt much better, and then he woke up one morning realizing he was not happy there. He did not feel at home. And then he realized that his place of comfort was in a multi-cultural setting. And that got him started thinking about beginning an intentionally multi-cultural church, to reach out to people like himself.

         This is a sociology of comfort, and it works for all races; it works for music preference; and even for food preference. Kathy's father was a lifelong Kansas farmer, and he was very clear about what kind of food he considered to be tasty. He was never too interested in going out for pizza. Until the grandchildren came. Then he was happy to go out for pizza with them.

         We do this in worship. We are comfortable with the style of worship we grew up in, or that we have grown to appreciate. Some people can only tolerate a very traditional approach. Others are strictly contemporary. But many find they value a mixture, and miss it if it is all one way or the other. That is the way we are as people. We have situations where we feel most comfortable. And sometimes it takes grandchildren to move us beyond that comfortable place.

         When Paul directs the Romans to "accept one another" he is not calling them to live in their comfort zone. He is not calling them to a cultural norm. He is calling them to conform their lives to Christ. Whether it is easy or hard for them to accept each other does not matter. He is calling them to obey, so that they can truly praise God.

         The problem in the Roman church was that there were some who had been more influenced by Jewish law and customs in coming to faith, and they held to certain diet and certain holy days and a fair amount of regulation in their life. But there were others, especially the Gentiles in the church, who really took to Paul's preaching of "faith alone" and "life in the spirit," and they felt free in some of these "disputable" matters; for example, to eat meat, or to regard all days as holy to God. So you had people with different practices in the church, and they came to resent each other. It got difficult to have a meal together, because some were offended by what others were eating. It became hard to worship together when some were convinced that there were certain rules to be kept, and others were becoming proud in their freedom not to keep the rules.

Paul says to both groups, that they are not to seek to please themselves, but to build up their neighbor. Their acceptance of each other is to be more than toleration; it is actually making changes in their own behavior, even forgoing some of their "rights," for the sake of the body. Their example is to be Jesus Christ, who did not live to please himself, but gave up even his own right to life itself. So the free ones, who called themselves "the strong or able ones," quit eating meat and drinking wine; and the legalistic ones, who were called "the weak," quit criticizing and judging the others.

         "Accept one another, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." How did Jesus accept people who were very different from him? Here he is at a well, in the noonday heat, and he is thirsty. A woman comes along, and it appears that his thirst causes him to break social convention by asking her for a drink. The standard rules of non-acceptance would cause him to not even see her, this lowly Samaritan woman. A Jewish man of standing really should not even glance her way. He should know how to be aware of her without appearing to notice her.

         But it turns out that she is the tired and thirsty one after all, and Jesus knows that. He knows the rules, and he knows her transgressions, and he knows which side she is on. But he talks to her. She says, "Why are you talking to me? Why are you breaking the rules?" He said, "I know you are the one who is thirsty, and I will give you living water."

For Jesus, acceptance is not just tolerating people who break the rules. "I'm not going to judge you. I will just sit here by the well."

For Jesus, acceptance is not supporting a person in the sin of their lives. It is not an approving or comforting word he gives to her about her husband. This is not the language of affirmation. This is love that speaks conviction, that names and identifies the sin, the reason for the thirst.

         For Jesus, acceptance is offering spiritual treasure; grace, to a person who is in need. Acceptance is more than conversation, it is giving freely that which is most costly and precious. That is how Jesus accepts the woman.

How do we accept one another in the church? That is the issue of our day; when we cannot count on conformity, when we do not agree because all of the past divisions and traditions are coming together in one place, and we cannot ignore them any longer. There is so much in the past that needs to be forgiven. There is so much that needs to be understood. There are things in us that need to change, even good things. There is treasure to be shared. There is a great God to be praised.

        Amen.