There will be one less place setting at the Frost family Christmas dinner this year. Grandma Mary, my mother, passed away in March. It was only in January that she was diagnosed with small-cell lung cancer. Less than 3 months later, she was called home to be with the Lord.

Mary was truly the matriarch of the Frost family. She was full of life (as evidenced by her para-sailing at age 79), and was loved by friends and family. When she learned she had so little time left, she responded with great courage. She was not sad or angry. She often said, "I am ready to go." She laughed and she cried but she didn't despair. She had peace of mind knowing she was going to heaven.

This first Christmas without her will be very hard. I think I will still see her preparing our Christmas feast. The early morning ritual preparation of the turkey. The cutting of the vegetables for the dressing. Peeling a huge pot of potatoes and making the gravy. The smells from the oven, and then getting everything on the table still warm! It will never be the same without her.

At a time when so many of us Baby Boomers are suffering the loss of our parents, I would like to share some suggestions. These thoughts could be advice for those who will have to deal with loss in the future, or hopefully comfort for those who have already gone through it.

• Make personal sacrifice to be with your loved ones at the end. Work can be caught up, recreation can be postponed, but you will never regain those last times to be with parents. Remembering is fun, laughing is good, and crying is OK. Just holding a weakened hand is sometimes enough.
• Be an example to your own children. Remember that your actions will teach your own kids how to handle the loss of their loved ones. Show them how to be respectful, comforting and caring. You will be setting the stage for how you will be treated when your time comes.
• Pray with your loved ones. Hold hands and share your feelings. Help everyone to know that God is in control, and it is OK to hand that control over to Him. When you release that control it is more calming than a drug ever could be.

Christmas is usually time to celebrate the glorious beginning of the life of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. As we say our prayers around the Christmas dinner table this year, let's remember to offer a prayer of celebration for the conclusion of the lives of our own loved ones.